You are in love. You feel butterflies and all the cells of your body breathe for the beloved one. Life has a new meaning. It seems that you don’t need anything else except the one you love. You are generously expressing deep feelings of love to each other and pure happiness radiates all around you.
I love you.
I can’t live without you.
You are the love of my life.
I have waited my whole life for you.
I want to live with you till the end of time.
The love that you feel and live so passionately is, in that period, the center of your universe. There is no reason for you to feel differently. There isn’t anyone or anything that can alter the magical world of love that revolves around you, within you. You live in that moment like there is no tomorrow. Slowly and quietly you are thinking and planning a future together. You can’t imagine the rest of your life without your most beloved one. In time your world starts changing. Your love is shifting from the magical world to the real life. Although the butterflies are slowly disappearing, if you two are the right ones for each other, the feelings will go deeper and stronger.
Your relationship will get its authenticity day by day. Both of you will contribute to the stronger relationship which will grow, develop, and refine more and more as both of you keep on giving each other more love, compassion, and empowerment. The relationship helps you see yourself in as many shapes possible, reaching increasingly to the deepest layers of your being. When you're near the right person, you feel supported to do and be everything you want. Because true love means primarily the freedom to be yourself.
But it may happen that your relationship will not evolve in the direction you wanted. You may feel it is stagnating or even worse. While in the relationship, one morning you may wake up to find that it doesn’t fulfill you and it’s dragging you down. You may even reach a point when it becomes very important for you to realize the truth about what you feel, to recognize exactly where you are in the current relationship. It will help if you ask yourself: Does this relationship help me evolve? Does it allow me to express myself freely? Is this exactly what I want? Do I feel at ease in it? Does it require too many compromises that put me constantly on an alternate plan? Asking yourself these questions will be a good test for your relationship. It will give you the opportunity to make some changes before it is too late. Yes, the butterflies were there at the beginning and all the love- words were meant honestly and truly. Maybe you got lost a bit on the path. Maybe you didn’t invest enough into your relationship. Even though you face constant confusion, uncertainty or tears you might still be in it if you don’t question your relationship. By answering to the above questions you can find the way for your relationship to evolve in the right direction. You may as well realize that you need to put an end. Who would like to stay in a relationship that doesn’t give space for the personal growth? That doesn’t allow free self expression? This isn’t a healthy love anymore.
Real love should never come in the way of the individual’s transformation and personal growth. It shouldn’t be about putting limitations to your partners. If you feel any barrier, test your relationship. Be honest with yourself. It is for your own good. In a healthy couple you shouldn’t lose your personal identity, but evolve along with your partner.
"How is it
that everything must
begin and end with you?
There you are,
perfuming the world with your scent.
Have you made a deal
with the moon so that you can linger
when she tapers off?
And what about the wind?
Even when he has been scolded
and is sitting in a corner, there you are,
my calm before the storm.
Despite the inevitable destruction
and my ruin, there you are again,
my calm after the storm.
I really must know:
'How is it
that there was never you
until there was
and then all was you?“
- Kamand Kojouri
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