“I can’t take it anymore. I feel awful. I think I am going crazy. There is no help for me. My life has no meaning.” Painful, right? Especially when a dear friend is telling you this. And, not only once but with an increased regularity. The least I can do is to take time to listen, figure out what is behind her feelings and cheer her up. Yet, no matter how much I am trying to help a friend of mine, I am less and less convinced that I am not making any difference. I have no words to express how sad it makes me. I know her for many years now. As the years have passed, life served her often lots of negative moments and experiences. She has the purest heart a person could have and a that’s more of a reason for me to think that it is not fair that she had to suffer so much, over and over. People often tried to make her feel helpless. But she didn’t totally break down and I really wish to believe that she would not this time or any time in the future. Why was she chosen to be hurt so often?
Why doesn’t the universe take a pause on her? I know that some people would say that she is attracting all bad things, like some kind of bad karma. Whatever is the reason, I know that she is the last person that deserves this. Her heart is too fragile. You see, having a pure heart doesn’t necessarily make you strong. On the contrary, it makes you sensitive to every bad word or action of others. I know I can’t protect her. Nobody can. I am repeatedly telling her that the reality is not so gloomy as she feels it. It doesn’t seem to help as she sees what she feels.
She knows how life has been treating her so far. She has survived, moved on and became stronger. And, that she doesn’t see it. She lived through all the bad comments from people around her and kept going with her life despite their criticism. She doesn’t see it either. She managed to make a proper living, acquired a good education, a stable job where she is successful and appreciated. She does not see those positives either. She is in a good physical state and her body looks like from the cover of a magazine. Yet she sees only the imperfections in her. Yes, life wasn’t good to her at times but she managed to keep above all, her good heart. What frustrates me the most is that she is not allowing herself to be happy. That is what she is doing now to herself. She has chosen to see all the bad things that happened to her and became blind to all good ones. She is not appreciating herself. She sees herself through what would be a perceived view of others. All the bad things that happened to her have the weight of concrete while all the wonderful ones don’t weight more than a feather. I feel frustrated sometimes that I don’t find the proper ways to show her how strong she really is. But my words don’t have any power as she doesn’t see and feel them the way they should. Her mind is stopping her from seeing what the reality is. Yes, life was hard on her. That made her become sensitive towards anything that evolves around her.
Life isn’t fair sometimes, but it is on us to find a way to deal with it. We find strength when we manage to stay above all the barriers that we encounter in life. But often we tend to miss seeing that. My friend is depressed right now, but definitely not crazy. She doesn’t see that there is help, but it surely exists. She may feel awful, but things will change. She feels that she can’t take it anymore but I know she is now stronger than ever. She thinks her life has no meaning, but I know she knows it does.
Yes, life will always bring good and bad things. But it is on us to manage the satisfaction and burden appropriately. When we feel hopeless, helpless, there is one thing that we can do. One step. One decision. We need to believe in and decide to ALLOW OURSELVES TO BE HAPPY. Allow ourselves to live. Everything starts from there. The moment the decision is made, a spark in our head will cause all the necessary reactions that will follow and show us the way.
Make that decision now, dear friend, allow your good heart to be happy. I will be there, watching you, being happy with you.
"How is it
that everything must
begin and end with you?
There you are,
perfuming the world with your scent.
Have you made a deal
with the moon so that you can linger
when she tapers off?
And what about the wind?
Even when he has been scolded
and is sitting in a corner, there you are,
my calm before the storm.
Despite the inevitable destruction
and my ruin, there you are again,
my calm after the storm.
I really must know:
'How is it
that there was never you
until there was
and then all was you?“
- Kamand Kojouri
FRIENDS & LINKS corner:
Angel Veselinov www.angeljoyful.com