Today I am alone. Yesterday I was alone too. Actually the last past days I have been alone enjoying the feeling of a freedom. I can do what I want when I want. I don’t need to give anyone any kind of explanation. All I have to do is deal with myself, my own needs, my own thoughts. Did I plan it? Yes! Do I enjoy it? Yes. For someone who enjoys or has the need to be alone from time to time, it is actually a great luxury to be able to reward it to oneself. On the other hand, I am aware that it may not be the same case for everybody. Did you ever wish to be alone at least for a day? Are you capable of being alone? Maybe not. You have been constantly surrounded by people for so many years that now you ended up not knowing anymore how to be alone.
What is the best way to use the opportunity of being alone? Let me tell you what I do when I am alone for many days in a row. At the beginning, I put all things in order. So if this takes to do a complete clean up of the apartment, wash, iron, pay all the bills, deal with pending issues…., that is what I do. Some people get creative and enjoy clutter, some people enjoy tidiness. For me, having some order around me prior to I go to the next phase is a necessity. But it may work as well skipping this part. When the first phase is done, then I do things that make me happy and I didn’t have time for them earlier. This can fully occupy my time and mind for few days. Did this satisfy my need to be alone and made me go back to my normal life? Not yet! Until I don’t reach the phase where I feel simultaneously empty and overwhelmed with thoughts, my mission is not complete. In this phase, I picture an empty canvas in front of me. It is the moment when I am getting detached from everything else and I focus on myself. The speed of thoughts that are passing through me at that moment is so fast that I barely manage to catch only a few of the thoughts. Those that I catch I write down. Maybe one day I will draw a painting. In any form, it is the result of me going deeper inside myself. During such moment I think a lot about who I am, what is my role on this planet, what is my purpose in this life? There are no good and bad answers, there are just answers that I find myself in that particular moment. Sometimes I may get explanations for something that I felt or experienced in the recent past and I didn’t see it at that particular moment. I don’t always look for answers. I just let myself flow in a moment of serenity. But, one important thing; to achieve this I don’t need to go on a deserted island. I do need though to switch off my phone. With this great technology that it is available nowadays it is so hard to be alone. Though, trust me that some people will not notice that you weren’t available for the past hours or days. But they will for sure notice when you will be back. They will see the new YOU. Being able to and enjoying being alone will make you a better company for anyone else. If you want to be a good company to anyone, you have to master first the art of being alone, thus being by yourself.
Don’t worry, when one chooses to be alone, one does not feel lonely. Do you feel ready for your empty canvas? There are so many wonderful thoughts waiting to be written on it. You can write on that canvas how you picture a perfect life. How you would like to be like in the future. Then compare this picture with what your life is right now and work on the discrepancies. Don’t think even for a moment it is a lost cause. Don’t ever think it is too late. Just try first to taste the luxury of being alone.........And the rest will follow from there on.
"How is it
that everything must
begin and end with you?
There you are,
perfuming the world with your scent.
Have you made a deal
with the moon so that you can linger
when she tapers off?
And what about the wind?
Even when he has been scolded
and is sitting in a corner, there you are,
my calm before the storm.
Despite the inevitable destruction
and my ruin, there you are again,
my calm after the storm.
I really must know:
'How is it
that there was never you
until there was
and then all was you?“
- Kamand Kojouri
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Angel Veselinov www.angeljoyful.com